What is Validation?

I have often mentioned that I do not believe I am interesting enough to be a subject for a Hollywood movie. Sure, there may be a miniscule portion of my story that would sustain the public’s attention, but I do not believe that there is enough to earn their money, their support, or even their praise.

Yet just because I believe myself unworthy of the “silver screen” does not mean that I believe that I have no stories from my life that are worth telling.

It was right around now, about fourteen years ago, during my fall semester at Colorado Mountain College, that I began working on a 20-page memoir piece with my English professor. The goal was to send and submit it to the University of Iowa, in hopes of appearing in the university’s literary journal, The Iowa Review. My major was in Creative Writing and in that world appearing in a literary journal was and is a monumental milestone in the pursuit of becoming a professional writer.

Yet, for just 20 pages, my English professor and I went through at least six to ten drafts before we finally agreed it was ready to be submitted to be published.

Ultimately, my memoir piece would not be published in the Iowa Review. Yet, of all the weeks we worked on my piece, one memory remains with me to this day.

During one of our sessions, my English professor presented me with a gift. It was a framed letter, addressed to me, from a New York Times best-selling author named Wally Lamb. His letter said that my professor had told he himself that I was a good writer, and in the letter, he encouraged me to keep writing, and to “keep the faith.”

She had gotten the letter from Wally Lamb when she went to a reading of his at a local annual author and book lovers’ festival. She framed it herself for me to have as a source of pride and motivation while I was continuing my life journey of becoming a writer.

After all, an encouraging letter from a New York Times best-selling author is something that any writer would want. To this very day, to make the New York Times best-sellers list is one of the highest achievements for best-selling authors and their books.

Later on in my academic career, when I was at Colorado State University finishing up my Creative Writing degree, I remembered that letter and Mr. Lamb’s words. When my fiction writing professor told me that my writing “was not up to the standards of the class,” I took solace in the fact that a New York Times best-selling author even wrote me a letter. How many others in that class or the entire English department had or would ever even have that blessing?

Yet, there was something else about Wally Lamb and his letter, that would encourage me whenever people did not like my writing and whenever people were in any way mean to me.

Wally Lamb was and is not only a New York Times best-selling author. He also has two books, She’s Come Undone and I Know This Much Is True, that are former selections of Oprah Winfrey and her book club, Oprah’s Book Club.

Whenever I would hear any mean or critical remark, by a peer or professor, whenever they would finish critiquing my work, I quietly would mutter to myself, smile, and say, “Someone who knows Oprah Winfrey likes my writing. No one cares what you write.”

In reality, Wally Lamb only read the first few sentences of my memoir selection and did not even finish the first page, according to my English professor. However, that did not matter to me. I carried a secret of validation that I knew meant very little, but even so, would be more than my classmates or even my professors would ever receive.

To be accepted by the world, by a person such as Oprah, is critical to becoming successful and has been for many years. After all, Oprah Winfrey was and is not only famous for her book club and signature talk show. She crowned Whitney Houston as “the Voice,” she gave away cars, played a key role in the rise of Barack Obama, and influenced the general public for decades with her every word and deed.

But just because someone affirms you, just because someone validates you, and just because someone helps you to become successful, does not mean that that person or his or her cause was, is, or will remain good.

The company of a celebrity such as Oprah Winfrey has been desired by many for years and years. However, in this current world and cultural climate, that is no longer the case, especially if you are associated with people like Harvey Weinstein and P. Diddy. It also is not good if “allegedly,” you may be on at least one of two “lists” anticipated to be exposed by now president elect Donald Trump in 2025.

Looking back, there have been times I doubted the true legitimacy of my Wally Lamb letter. Just a quick Google images search of Wally Lamb and his signature however was enough for me to compare my letter to the Google images and confirm my belief that the letter was indeed from him.

Yet, whether or not my Wally Lamb letter is authentic is not what is important or why I have shared this story now.

In the end, I have learned that the only validation, the only affirmation, the only success you need in this life can only be found in the Lord Jesus Christ and in in the support of loved ones, family, and friends.

There is no greater treasure and there is no greater joy than this reality and truth.