The Gift of Refuge

“Dear reader, there are people in the world who know no misery and woe. And they take comfort in cheerful films about twittering birds and giggling elves. There are people who know that there’s always a mystery to be solved. And they take comfort in researching and writing down any important evidence. But this story is not about such people. This story is about the Baudelaires. And they are the sort of people who know that there’s always something. Something to invent, something to read, something to bite, and something to do, to make a sanctuary, no matter how small. And for this reason, I am happy to say, the Baudelaires were very fortunate indeed.”

-Jude Law as Lemony Snicket, Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events, 2004.

In the mid-2000s, West Monroe High School, located in West Monroe, LA was known to be excellent and top-notch in all areas. With an excellent football team, a high-quality choir and band, and many hard-working successful students, it was arguably one of the best high schools in the South.

Such achievements would sound appealing. Yet, to someone who is disabled, and highly anti-social, all those achievements and adjoined expectations would just seem impossible to grasp.

In the fall of 2004, I was a freshman at West Monroe High School. Coming off a year of being on Accutane for extreme acne, I had been severely depressed, anti-social, and moody. To top it all off, I was struggling in school, and at the advice of a family doctor, began taking Adderall, because, at the time, he thought I had ADD.

Those days during the fall semester were slightly better for a time. I was able to perform better in school for a while, due to the Adderall. Yet, lingering problems with the Adderall would lead to an accelerated decline that following Spring, when I would be formally diagnosed with schizophrenia.

My whole freshman year, and the beginning of my sophomore year, before my family and I moved to Colorado were both extremely hard. I struggled, fought, and persevered the whole way through.

Looking back though, there is someone, a teacher, who even though she never taught me, gave me the gift of a sanctuary: in her classroom and being able to stay there in the minutes before school and during my lunch break.

Mrs. Mary Clark, the wife of Pastor Greg Clark and a longtime former Science teacher, whose husband still leads the congregation of Cedar Crest Baptist Church in West Monroe, LA, is a wonderfully kind and generous person. She would often go above and beyond in helping those at church and those in need. She continues to do so even now.

For a year and two months, she helped me daily. Just getting to have my lunch in her room, not having to sit with or talk to people, getting to listen to the local Christian radio station in her room, or getting to finish homework or do a little studying was a wondrous and immense blessing.

There are many people like Mrs. Mary who have helped me in my life. I often call them my own “little army.” Whenever I needed help in school, or the workplace, my own little band of family, friends, doctors, counselors, teachers, etc were always there to help advocate for me and to support me.

Do you have people you need to thank in your life? Are they your parents, your friends, your doctors, your brothers, or your sisters?

Take a moment today to thank those in your life who have helped you along the way. Always remember to thank God, who is with you every step of the way, and will provide you with everything and everyone you need to survive, thrive, and live out the abundant life that He has for you.

Until Next Time,

Jacob McGowen