I have always loved music. For over twenty years now, I have written many poems and lyrics, some of which have been turned into songs by friends. My Spotify and iTunes libraries are well stocked with at least 8,000 songs per library. I am known for always having my phone or an old iPod around, faithfully wearing headphones, most every single time I go out.
Before or after church, going to a doctors appointment, the movies, or on a trip, listening to music for me is always essential. I get bored rather quickly, am limited in conversation topics, and it is not good for me to spend too much time with my thoughts as a schizophrenic.
Music is medicine for me. It soothes my anxious mind, softens my hardened heart, helps me reminisce on good times, and to imagine a better world where all is well.
There have been many songs that have been anthems for me over the years. They are soundtracks to memories of good and bad times, and also the people who helped me through them.
This is the story of a special song and someone who helped me.
In May of 2005, about a month or two after being hospitalized and diagnosed with schizophrenia, my father told me that we were moving to Colorado, for the second time, from our home in West Monroe, LA.
As all change does, this hit me hard. It was over a 1,000 miles to the area we were moving to and it was a much smaller town.
For almost the next five months until we moved to Colorado in October, and long after, I constantly asked the question, “Why?” and could not for one second stop thinking and worrying about moving.
I had my first of what would be later five iPod classics at that time. I had just started liking and listening to Hillsong Worship CDs. One of my favorite songs I liked at that time was “Worthy Is The Lamb” from the Hillsong Worship and Delirious? Unified: Praise (Live) CD.
Sometime during the months before we moved, I asked the music minister of Cedar Crest Baptist Church, our church, Bro. Steve Lawson, if he could let the choir sing that song.
To my later surprise one Sunday, he did. On that Sunday, with all the chaos and anxiety that was going on in my mind, I was able to sing along with the choir from the pew I was sitting at and turn my eyes to Someone, who could do more in me than any medication ever could. I could rest in knowing that Bro. Steve and everyone at church loved me, supported me, and that I was not alone.
During the few years he was music minister, Bro. Steve Lawson became one of the most loved music ministers Cedar Crest ever had. He not only led the choir in an effective and humble way, he also played the piano and would do solo concerts for Christmas. Though he was older, he had a healthy balance of hymns and contemporary worship music that he led our congregation in singing each and every Sunday.
It was because of his Christlike and Spirit-filled leadership that he became so missed when he went to be with Jesus, only a few years after we moved to Colorado. I remember writing to his wife at the time and telling her how I appreciated him letting the choir sing a song I loved.
I can only imagine the privilege Bro. Steve has had, over many years now, to as the song “Worthy Is The Lamb” says, worship face to face “the Lamb,” who “reigns victorious.”
We all need hope to make it through life. We all need music to help and guide us through things. We also need people in our lives who can help us in their own special and unique ways.
Since our time in life is short, let’s choose songs that will lift us up, not bring us down. Let’s sing songs of praise and songs that are, “lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy.”
In conclusion, let’s invite people into our lives, like Bro. Steve Lawson, that will leave legacies that will change us for the better. In return, I hope we return the favor, and start holy changes in our communities, no matter where they may be.
Until Next Time,
Jacob McGowen
The Adventures of A Warrior 