A Tall African Tale

Once upon a time, deep in the pearl of Africa, there lived a beautiful maiden. Her name was Mama Julie. She was principal of the local school and every unmarried man in the whole village wanted Mama Julie to be his bride.

Yet, there was none in all the villages of Africa who loved Mama Julie more than Papa Henry. Papa Henry was short and ugly. He could barely reach the top of any table. However, out of all the others,  he was willing to do anything to get Mama Julie’s attention.

One school day, after he saw Mama Julie say bye to her last student, he walked up to Mama Julie. Then, he sat down and began playing a country music song on his guitar, like the ones he heard playing from her radio.

Mama Julie’s ears turned his way as she recognized the song. She hummed along to the chorus, but when she looked down at Papa Henry, she shouted in horror, “Go away, I do not like you.”

So Papa Henry went away and he cried. The next morning, he asked around and heard from some teachers that Mama Julie loved coffee. So Papa Henry took transport to the city to find some coffee beans to bring to Mama Julie.

When he arrived back at the village, it was once again the end of the school day. He waited until Mama Julie had ushered all of her students out the door. Then Papa Henry walked up to Mama Julie, and said, “Hello, my name is Papa Henry. I have some fresh coffee beans. Would you like some?”

Mama Julie then took the coffee can from his hand and responded, “These are nice. Now go away!”

Then Papa Henry cried again. “I tried!” he thought, “I thought if I played her favorite songs and gave her her favorite things, surely I would win her heart. Why is nothing happening?”

While he was crying, an old friend of his, came slowly walking up the road.

“Papa Henry, stand up! Why are you crying?”

Papa Henry then looked up to recognize his old friend, Jacobo.

“I love a woman, Jacobo! I want to marry her. I’ve tried to show her that I care, and she just pushes me away.”

Upon hearing these words, Jacobo lead his old friend to the door of his home.

“Walk inside my home Papa Henry, there are some things you must know.”

Jacobo then told Papa Henry a secret, one that had been kept for far too long.

“Long ago, your mother and father made a deal with a witch doctor. They were supposed to give you up so that they would be protected from evil. When they decided to keep you, the witch doctor cast a spell on you, making you forever ugly and short, until the day you could find a woman who would love you as much as you love her.”

“How can this be true?” said Papa Henry, as he stared up at the ceiling of Jacobo’s hut.

“It is as true and real as you are,” said Jacobo, “My own father told me it when i was 14, and I have kept that secret and watched over you ever since.”

As the truth of the “secret” sunk in, Papa Henry began to cry once more.

“If what you say is true,” said Papa Henry, “Then how will Mama Julie ever love me?”

Instantaneously, Jacobo slapped Papa Henry across the face.

“Stand up now like a man.”

“Ok,” said Papa Henry.

“You’ve tried to show her you care?”

“Yes!” said Papa Henry sniffling.

“You’ve played her favorite songs and given her quality coffee?”

“Yes!” said Papa Henry, wiping more tears from his eyes.

Jacobo then slapped him across the face once more.

“Ow!”

“The only way for you to win Mama Julie’s heart is not to do things you think she likes, but to show her how you really feel. Tell her you love her, and show her you love her from a place she’ll never forget.”

“And what happens if you’re wrong?” said Papa Henry, blinking both eyes.

“Then you have my permission to come back here to my home and punch me in the face.”

So the next day, Papa Henry watched Mama Julie once more, this time looking closely at her purse which stood right beside the school door. As soon as he saw her go inside, he dashed across the street, and grabbed her purse.

“What are you doing?” said Mama Julie.

Papa Henry did not respond. Holding onto her purse, Papa Henry hopped on a boda boda across the street, and he and the driver were off.

It was not too long, before Mama Julie caught up with them, and was riding her own boda boda. The two of them sped along the streets of the village, then off onto the neighboring highway.

To lose her, Papa Henry nudged the driver to take a turn off the side of the road to his friend, Joshua’s farm. Papa Henry then got off the boda, said good bye to the driver, and ran along the dirt road to try to make it to Joshua’s.

He did not make it very far, before he was tackled by none other than Mama Julie herself.

“Ow, get off please!” cried Papa Henry.

“Why would you steal my purse, you silly little man?” screamed Mama Julie.

“It is because, well, because…”

“Spit it out!” said Mama Julie impatiently.

“It is because, well, IT IS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! AND I WANT TO MARRY YOU!” yelled Papa Henry.

For a moment they were silent, and then Mama Julie spoke once more.

“Never in all my years have I met a man so determined as you to show me that he loves me. And I don’t believe I should tell you no. I love you too and I will marry you.”

“And,” said Mama Julie, “To make it official, I will give you a kiss.”

Mama Julie then picked up Papa Henry and lifted him up so that they could kiss. As soon as they kissed, Papa Henry shot from her hands and grew six feet tall.

“How did this happen?” said Mama Julie, puzzled but thankful.

Papa Henry staring down at the ground which for years was near said, “I do not know but one thing’s for sure. I will be punching no one in the face tonight.”

And so Papa Henry and Mama Julie went on to lead Come Let’s Dance and help many young and old Ugandans achieve their dreams and succeed. And as for Jacobo, he left the village, never to be seen in Africa again.

THE END