As many of you may know, this week I was hospitalized for some severe constipation related issues. Both my parents came to see me, and after a lot of medication, my body is steadily getting back to normal.
Anytime I get sick, my schizophrenia symptoms get agitated. After all, sickness causes stress, and all stress triggers those symptoms of paranoia, agitation, and insomnia.
The insomnia was one issue I had to primarily deal with on Sunday. That night, because they were going to operate on me in the morning, they did not allow me to have all of my psychotic meds. I barely slept Sunday night and Monday night I almost lost it.
I could not sleep and I could not get comfortable. My entire body was even acting in ways which caused me to believe I was in more dire shape than I actually was.
I pulled my phone over, expecting to have to listen to music to get through the night. I half expected to just have to “suck” it up and push my way through. For this was not the first time in my ten years of being mentally ill that I had trouble sleeping.
In the midst of the chaos however, I remembered there was one thing I could do. I could walk.
“Nurse, can you help me go walking please?” I said over the phone beside my bed.
When that nurse came in, unhooked me, and then walked around the hall with me, it was not a race. I think it was one of the slowest walks of my life.
Yet, I liked it because as I slowly took each step, I knew that the pain I was feeling was not insurmountable, that God would get me through tonight and through this sickness.
Perhaps you feel like there’s a sin you can’t overcome, a situation you can’t out of, or that you just can’t trust God. My friends, though life is full of dire difficulties at times, all solutions point to the Cross.
1 Corinthians 10:13 New International Version (NIV)
13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
That is what I leave with you today. Know that Jesus loves you and cares for you enough to free you and take you through anything so you can “endure.”
Until Next Time,
Jacobo
The Adventures of A Warrior 