Name Change

Like it or not, I have always had to identify and associate myself with all my disorders and weaknesses. In order for someone to understand me, in order for me to make friends, I find I always have to tell I have schizophrenia so that they can have any sort of connection with me. When I don’t tell new people I meet I have a mental illness, and they treat me differently because of it, I often become agitated and bitter. This has been the case lately being back in Fort Collins.

Yet, when I look back to my adventures in Africa, I remember one thing that can offer me true freedom now. When I walked down the street, played with kids in the villages, took pictures with them, they did not call me a “schizo.” They did not laugh at me, or call me names like so many Americans had back home. 

They just called me, “Mzungu.” This term in Lugandan means “white” so it’s not really that flattering. It would be like an African American calling you a “cracker” back in the States. Many of the volunteers I worked with in Uganda, including some of the staff members of Come Let’s Dance, often grew tired of all the Ugandan kids and people constantly shouting, “Mzungu! Mzungu!”

Yet, of all the names I’ve been called, I never grew tired of those kids calling me a “Mzungu.” For, of all the names I’ve been called, it was the only one that was true. I am white; I am American. However, I believe there is a deeper reason why God never let the sounds of those voices leave my mind. 

I have been forgiven and made clean by the blood of Jesus, made “white as snow.” Writing this new blog entry, reflecting on this truth, has led me to make a new decision. This entry, “Name Change,” is the beginning of a new blog for me http://www.mzunguwarrior.wordpress.com

I have dropped “schizo” from the title and ended my blog of forty five entries because I believe I need to see myself as God sees me, not as a schizophrenic but as someone with struggles who needs to constantly lean on Jesus. That’s not to say the journeys and lessons from http://www.schizomzunguwarrior.wordpress.com will not be continued. It is only to say they will be looked at in a new perspective and new light. 

That is all for now. I look forward to sharing my new adventures with you all. 

Until Next Time,

Jacobo